Day of Reckoning: a Sweet Surrender
by belovedangel243
Summary: Buffy is broken, Angel is alone. With them sharing prophetic dreams and a huge battle on the horizon will The Slayer and The Champion be able to rise to the occassion and win, or will they lose everything? And who will be there to help fight? B/A fic
1. A Prophetic Dream?

**Disclaimer: Sadly, all characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox etc. If they did belong to me, Angel/Angelus would always be in leather pants, Buffy would never sleep with Riley, or Spike (ew) and a piano would have fallen on Darla causing all the legs to splinter and stake her in the chest way before she had the chance to even touch Angel.**

**AU note:  Hi everyone, I just wanted to have a little chat before you hopefully start reading my story. This is my first so I hope its okay. I know this initial chapter is pretty short and basic but I just wanted to get it out so I had something started, the chapters will be longer and more in depth once I get going. This will be a Buffy-Angel fic but will have most of the other characters as well (from both Buffy and Angel). This will be first person and the POV will alternate between Buffy and Angel so their thoughts are in italics, conversations are normal, and dreams are in bold and italics…I hope it isn't too confusing. If and when I have any author notes they will most likely be at the end of the chapter but I just wanted this one as the initial read. Again, this is my first fic so I hope you enjoy it and if you have anything to say whether its good or bad please feel free to review or message me but I do ask that if you have any criticism with regards to my story I ask that you do it respectfully because I am not here to take insults, I am here to share my ideas and make friends with people who enjoy the same thing I do. So please, if you don't have anything nice to say or can not say it in a polite manner than don't bother. Thank you again and I hope you like it. :D**

**Rating:  Hmmm rated T for now…later chapters will be rated M (for chapters involving explicit-adult content etc will have a note before the chapter, please do not read if you are under the legal age.)**

**Spoilers: Uhhmm this story isn't designated to a specific time period following the show but it will involve bits and pieces from both Buffy and Angel through out.**

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**Day of Reckoning: a Sweet Surrender**

**Chapter 1: A Prophetic Dream?**

**POV: Buffy  
**

_It__ feels like it happened just yesterday in a funny scream and cry kind of way. Everyone said it was supposed to get easier, I don't understand that…how is it supposed to get easier or less painful when your love walks away? You watch movies, read books, hell you even see it happen in real life when a person gets left by the one that they supposedly love. They cry for a couple of days maybe a week if it was really hard and then they get up, go to work, and meet mister perfect in their daily morning coffee run and they live happily ever after. Well I guess I wasn't so lucky. Its been 53 days since he left and I still have to cry for 20 to 35 minutes before I can even get myself out of bed on a good day, then the really hard part comes where I have to get ready and leave the solace of my room and put on my happy go lucky face so everyone thinks I'm fine, not that they would really notice either way. _

"Good morning honey. Are you hungry?"

"I'm good mom; I think I'm just going to grab a coffee on my way to class." _Yes Buffy, maybe you'll even meet that mister right you were mentioning earlier. God I'm pathetic, I never even used to drink coffee until I started dating Angel, now its really the only connection I have to him, well that and a piece of wood that I carry around with me. _

"Alright dear, have a good day. Oh, I won't be home for a couple of weeks, I have to go to New York to pull together some art for the gallery, so we won't be able to do our movie marathon this weekend."

"Oh," _remember to smile Buffy, remember to smile,_ "that's okay, I'll go to the movies with Willow or something. Have fun." _ It's rather sad when the only plans you have are watching old movies with your mom and even she cancels on you._

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"Buffy!"

"Oh hey Will, where's the fire?"

"What? Oh ha no uh no fire, I just wanted to catch you before class. I was talking to Riley, you know our psychology TA and it just so happened that we started talking about you, so guess what?"

_Oh I'm sure it was just coincidental that you guys started talking about me. I don't know why she even bothers trying to lie about it, I figured out her plan after the first 4 dates she set me up on. I was starting to think she gave up. _

"You have a date tomorrow night! Isn't that exciting?"

_Thrilling._ "Yeah Will, that's great and all but uhm what if I had plans tomorrow night?"

"Oh well see I thought of that but I called your mom yesterday and she said she was going out of town so you were free."

"You called my mom to see what I was doing?"

"Yeah. So aren't you excited? I mean Riley is so cute and…"

_I know I should really be paying attention to what she's saying but I can't believe she went and asked my mom about my plans and set me up with Riley of all guys. I mean there's nothing wrong with him or anything but __he's just so farm boy basic and his clothes are too bright. Angel never wore bright clothes or Kmart clothes for that matter…he was so classy and mysterious, wait – no, bad Buffy! You know you can't be thinking about him while out with people. Remember, its happy Buffy now…I can wallow in self pity later._

"Yeah Will, listen sorry I gotta get to class but its uhm awesome with the whole Riley and I thing, thanks."

"Oh yeah, okay well I'll talk to you later…I knew it would work out between you two!"

_God it's like she's already picking out my china patterns._

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"_**Come out, come out, come out little vamp**__**ires. I know you're around here somewhere." **_

"_**Buffy." **_

"_**Angel?" Oh god**__**.**_

"_**I heard you were on the hunt." **_

_**Hmm that sounds vaguely familiar.**_ "_**Uh," speak Buffy! "yeah, you know just some late night slayage. What are you doing here?"**_

"_**I came to help." **_

_**God that smirk, oh how I missed you.**_ "_**Help with what exactly?"**_

"_**You."**_

_** Huh?**_ "_**Huh?"**_

"_**You have to be ready."**_

"_**Okay Angel, what's with the cryptic? I have to be ready for what? No Angel wait! Ready for what? …ANGEL!" **_


	2. Demons and Green Goo

**Just a quick note:** **For Angel's POV there will also be Angelus as well so Angel's thoughts are in italics and Angelus' are bold. Enjoy:D**

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**Day of Reckoning: a Sweet Surrender**

**Chapter 2: Demons and Green Goo**

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

"_**Don't what? Don't love you? I'm **__**sorry; nobody told me I had a choice! I can't just change, I'll never change. I…I want my life to be with you."**_

"_**I don't."**_

"_**Don't? You…you don't want to be with me?"**_

_**

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"BUFFY!" _Oh god Buffy I'm so sorry, so sorry love._

**I don't think she can hear you genius.**

_Screw off._

**Well gee I would but you see, you're in my body**.

_You mean my body_.

**Technicalities. So had another dream about our Buff huh? You did well; I don't think I even caused as much pain while I was out and about as you did that night.**

_Just shut up__, I don't need a reminder_.

**No your mind is just doing it for you. I wonder how Buff's doing. We should call no better yet let's go check in on my little slayer.**

_No! We are not going to call and we are not going to visit, I don't need to cause any more problems for her besides Giles said she's doing great...and she's not your slayer._

**Well she sure as hell better not be anyone else's or I'll rip them apart! She's mine!**

_How many times do we have to go over this…she is not yours! Nor will she ever…_

"ANGEL!"

**Ohh hurray the whiny bitch is back. Can we kill her?**

_No_.

**Please...I'll even make it painless, just a quick snap of the neck**.

_No._

"ANGEL!"

"Hi Codelia."

"Geez, finally. What could have possibly taken you that long to get up here, I mean I've been calling and calling..."

"Cordy."

"and you're not the only person with things to do…"

"Cordy."

"I mean you don't even have to get ready…its not like you can see yourself anyways…"

"Cordy! Did you need something?"

"No not really."

**You sure we can't kill her?**

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"Angel?"

"Come in Wes."

"I think I might have found something on that Sklar demon you faced last night. It says that they feed off people by draining their…"

"Wes, I don't really need to know all that right now, just how to kill it."

"Oh, right…well it says, hmmmm ah yes, here it is, to kill a Sklar demon you must cut off oh, oh my, it had two tails?"

"Yes." _At least it doesn't have four heads like the last one._

**Yeah that was a rather messy one but**** a fun killing.**

_Maybe for you._ "So Wes, how do I kill it?"

"Right, well it says you must cut off its second tail…so that would be the one with the uh spike on it, and them hmm ah cut of its head."

"Thanks Wes...uhm have you happened to talk to Giles lately?"

"Ahh yes, I did."

**Well get on with it! **

"He says everything is going well there…just the odd vampire or two."

"That's… good."

"Yes well, very well."

* * *

**Ahh nothing like a good fight to get the juices flowing**.

_Speak for yourself; you're not covered in slime._

**Well…**

"God Angel you stink! What is that all over you?"

**Haven't they left yet?**

"Sklar bits."

"Ugh that's disgusting…you definitely need a shower, maybe 4."

"Well that's quite enough Cordelia, how did it go Angel?"

**How does he think it went or can he not see the green gunk dripping from our hair?**

"Fine Wes thanks, but you guys head on home I'm just going to take a shower and catch up on some work."

"Finally! See you tomorrow Angel!"

"Well if you are sure you don't need anything…"

"Geez Wes he said we could go, just leave already."

"Its fine Wes, have a good night guys."

**Is he always that needy? **

_He's not needy, he's just…thorough._

**Right, well what ever helps you sleep at night cupcake.**

_Quiet, I have work to do._

**Yeah work, you mean your going to go have a shower, think about Buffy then when you're done you are going to sit in your room and ****stare at a picture of our Buff.**

_Again, she is not our Buffy..._

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"_**Angel."**_

"_**Buffy? Is it really you?"**_

"_**Yes Angel…but not for long."**_

"_**What do you mean love?"**_

"_**I'm broken Angel and pretty soon there will be nothing left."**_

"_**I… I don't understand."**_

"_**All alone Angel."**_

"_**Buffy? Buffy come back, please stay. BUFFY!"**_

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**What did she mean she's broken?**

_I don't know, it's probably just a dream._

**Then why did she say she's alone?**

_I don't know! But she's not; she has Willow, Xander, Oz, her mom, not to mention Giles and he'd never leave her so she is not alone, she's just not._

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**AU note: Sorry for another short chapter, I'm just trying to get the basics out of the way so we can get on with the story. Even though it was pretty slow I hope you enjoyed it and continue to read. :D**


	3. Deserted Movies and a Crushed Soul

**Day of Reckoning: a Sweet Surrender**

**Chapter 3: Deserted Movies and a Crushed Soul**

**POV: Buffy**

_I have another date with Riley tonight. It doesn't make sense, our first date, if you could even call it that was horrible, and I wasn't much company yet he asked me out again. I was right though about the whole being farm boy basic…he is actually a farm boy, from some place uhm Iowa… or was Idaho? Anyways so that's how our night went. He talked and I pretended to listen; I mean its very exciting learning about how you know when a hen is about to lay eggs and what not, and you could tell with the way Willow was looking at us that she just thought we were perfect for each other. I can just see it now, I'll be going out slaying and kicking ass while he is checking for healthy eggs and whether or not the cows' utters are perfectly aligned or something. I miss the way it used to be, back in high school, everything just seemed so much simpler. I mean I'd even settle for when Faith was running around; even then I was still somewhat happy. I had my friends, my watcher and best of all, he was there. It's silly, and sad really that I would give anything to go back to what it was like when I first came here, and he would show up randomly with a warning of 'grave danger' because even though we never knew one and other I still got to see him. But now, knowing that he's out there but I'll never see him; I just feel alone and scared. What ever made him think that I would want picnics and sunshine over him is beyond me and children? I only wanted kids if they were his. What's worse about this whole thing is that I don't even have anyone to talk to about it. I can't talk to my mom because well she never really knew him. Giles, he just gets too uncomfortable with things like that and I rarely see him anyways unless it's to check in now. Willow, she's just so wrapped up in her own life to even realize that I'm there half the time let alone to notice that I am hurting and well all that's left is Xander and that would just be suicide. What gets me though is how they expected me to just get over him, like it was just a passing fling and that he really didn't mean the anything to me. I knew when I was 16 like I know now that he's all there is for me. No one will ever understand me like he did, or hold me like he would…its kind of funny that he left me so I could have a normal life in the sun, yet now, I have no one to go into the sun with._

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"Hey Buffy."

"Oh, hey Riley."

"So I had a really great time the other night and am looking really forward to tonight."

_Could he be any more cheery?_ "Yeah me too."

"Yeah? So I was thinking that I could pick you up around…"

_From what I learned just the other night, he really knows how to chat. I don't really listen just nod my head and 'mhm' every now and then…he actually talked so much last time that my neck was sore when I got home. It's almost as if he feels the need to never have silence, I think I learned that it means they are uncomfortable. I wonder if I make him uncomfortable. Angel and I always had silent moments; those were some of the best times well besides the kissing that is. Mmm Angel smoochies…now that guy knew how to kiss._

"Buffy? Buffy?"

"Hmm, what?"

"Were you even listening to anything I said?"

"Uhm yes?"

"Okay great …so I'll pick you up around 7 and we can go see that new movie."

"Actually Riley I'll just meet you there, I have some stuff I have to do first but I got to go so, see ya." _Run Buffy, run._

"Bye Buffy!"

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_Here goes nothing._

"Buffy! Buffy! Over here sweetie!"

_Sweetie? Ugh._ "Hi Riley." _It's hard not to grimace as I say his name. Its not that he's a horrible guy, he's just not for me._

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_Hmm the movies. I used to love coming here with Willow and Xander, even with Cordelia…and Angel. I can't help but remember the last time I was here, like it happened just the other night. Even with its awkward moments, it was still one of the best dates I ever had._

**Flashback**

"Well."

"Well"

"That was…well it was very artistic."

"Yeah…"

"Not quite what I'd expected…I'd never actually seen – well from the title I thought it was about food."

"There was food…"

"Right. The scene with the…food. Do you feel like getting some hot chocolate? Or some…cold shower?"

"I'm sorry. I wanted to take you out somewhere fun. It's been awhile since I've been to the movies, they've changed."

"Little scary…and a little not, which is also scary. I'm just sorry to get you worked up like that. We can't do any of that stuff; you'd loose your soul, and besides I don't even own a kimono."

"Buffy, you don't have to worry about me. I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being around you does that just fine. It doesn't mean I'm going to loose control. Or that I'm only frustrated around you. It feels nice just to feel."

"It doesn't drive you crazy? Even when we're…close?"

"Watch this."

**End Flashback**

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_Oh god Angel. I got to get out of here. I should have known I couldn't handle this._

"Buffy? Where are you going?"

"I'm…I'm sorry Riley I just, I have to go."

"Do you not feel well? I can take you home if you'd like."

_God doesn't he just get that I need to leave before I break down?_ "No Riley just stay, enjoy the movie. I'll be fine." _I grab my stuff and I run. I run and I run until my tears finally win over and I collapse on damp pavement. I can taste the salt running down my face as my heart crumbles all over again. Why'd he have to leave me…why wasn't I enough for him? I'm not sure how long I sat there, crying but it must have been a while since I didn't notice the heavy rain._

_I feel hollow, empty. Without him, there is no Buffy...just an vacant shell with a broken heart and shattered soul. Eventually I find what little strength I have left to push my self up off the ground and start wandering. I'm not really sure where I've decided to walk to but my body took me in the direction of the one and only place I have ever felt safe and loved._

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_The Crawford street mansion. I haven't been able to bring myself back here since graduation night. It just felt wrong being here without him but now, it's the only place that I can still pretend in…imagine him next to me, his arms enfolding me in their strong embrace, his soft lips running along my neck, his scar. I slowly start to walk around the halls, sliding my fingertips along the smooth stone. These walls, cold empty slabs, seem to radiate a warmth that soothes me. For some, the memories that live here are ones they would rather forget, but for me, they are just proof that what we had was real…that he wasn't just a dream. There are still a few remnants of his life here, mostly just things left in his bedroom; an old towel or two, an empty picture frame, and a set of sheets encasing his bed. The last time I was in this room was one of the scariest moments of my life. I thought he was going to die, I had never felt so weak and useless. The only thing running through my mind that night was, 'what's the point of saving a world that he's not a part of?' It nearly killed me seeing him so hopeless and so ready to put his life on the line to protect me; but he didn't get it. I would and did the exact same thing for him, because he was and always will be my life. I curl myself into his sheets, letting his faint smell wrap around me as I give into my cries once more. Minutes or possibly hours tick by before I finally give into a restless sleep._

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_**"Buffy"**_

_**"Angel? You came."**_

_**"Are you ready Buffy?"**_

_**"I don't get it Angel, am I ready for what?"**_

_**"The end."**_

_**"End? End of what?"**_

_**"Fight Buffy… you have to fight. Don't give in."**_

_**"Angel?"**_

_**"Buffy look out!"**_

_**Pain. So much pain. "Angel?"**_

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_I wake up panting, my heart pounding against my chest with traces of tears left over from my nightmare. I bring my knees up to my chest and slowly rock myself as I try and understand what my dreams mean. Angel said the End…The End of what?_

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**AU note:** **So I'm slowly getting there…It will get more detailed and other characters will show up soon. I hope everyone reading is still sticking with me to find out what will happen. I would love to know what people think, so if you want to give me a few tips or anything, please feel free. :D**


	4. The End He Says

**AU Note:** ** Sorry its taken so long for me to get this chapter out…its been sitting on my computer for weeks while I stared at it…attempting to work out all the kinks, anyway here it is; it's a bit longer :D I hope you all like it. The POV's switch between Angel/Angelus and Buffy so I hope it's not too hard to follow.**

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**Day of Reckoning: a Sweet Surrender**

**Chapter 4:**** "The End" He Says**

**POV: Buffy **

_It's been 3 days since the first dream. They are all the same but I can't seem to figure out what he means. It's like they are on repeat in my mind. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is Angel asking if I'm ready, and telling me the End is coming, but what 'End' is as good a guess as any. _

_I decided to stay at the mansion; I just could not bring myself to leave the next day. I spent hours after waking up that night trying unravel what was going on and what he was trying to warn me about and when it finally came time to go home…it was just too hard. I figure I could stay here for a little while since Mom is out of town, and I won't feel so lonely. Even though he isn't here, I can still feel him._

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"Slayer."

_Geez, can't they come up with anything better to say? _

"You will die tonight."

_I just don't have the will to chat with them anymore, so within mere seconds an upper cut to the jaw, block, right hook, round house kick to the head, and stake through the heart. _

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'Knock, knock'

"Buffy?"

"Hi Giles…can I come in?"

"Oh right, of course. So what brings you by?"

_Really? It's been a week since I gave him my last update._ "Uhm just thought I would stop by and give you an update on the slaying."

"Ah right, so how was it?"

"Good, I guess, just your run of the mill everyday vampires. There were three in Restfield Cemetery and two in Shady Hill cemetery…" _Is he even listening?_ "Giles?...Giles?"

"Ah, right, yes so you say five vampires tonight, yes?"

"Yeah, just the five."

"All right then, it seems to be pretty slow these past couple of weeks and I read of nothing big coming, so why don't you take the next night off hmm?"

_What?_ "Uhm, Giles are you sure?"

"Well yes, in fact I am quite sure. Willow tells me you've been seeing this Riley fellow and I think you deserve a night off to go to the movies or what ever it is kids do these days."

_You have got to be kidding me_. "Really Giles, its okay…"

"No, I insist Buffy."

"Alright." _I guess I'll just do a sweep on my own then tomorrow night because I am not going out with Riley again…ever._

"Well good. Now if that's all you needed…"

_Is he really telling me to leave?_ "Uhm, actually Giles, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second."

"Very well, have a seat. Tea?"

"No thank you. I was just wondering if you've heard of anything lately about something called 'The End'?"

"Hmmm the End you say?"

Yeah, I'm not quite sure what it is exactly, I've just uhm heard it recently."

"Ah, well how did you come about hearing this?"

"Well, it was actually a dream I had."

"Prophetic?"

"See that's the thing, I'm not exactly sure."

"Well, did the dream say anything else?"

"Not really, just that I have to be ready."

"Well, I can't exactly say what you dreamt was prophetic or not since there isn't really much to go on nor have I heard or read anything as of yet, but I'll give it a look."

"Thanks Giles. Do you mind if I get a head start?"

"No, that's fine. You can take some books home with you... I'm just going to head up to bed though; it's been a long day."

_Giles passing up research? Well then._

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"Ugh!" _This is getting pointless, I've read through 3 books already and nothing speaks of the End. Sure it would help if I knew what the End meant but I can't know everything! Hours later and 4 books down, I doze off into yet another fitful sleep._

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"_**HELP ME! HELP!"**_

"_**What happened?"**_

"_**It's an attack…They are everywhere!"**_

_**Oh god.  
"Buffy."**_

"_**Angel! Thank god you're here, you have to hel..."**_

"_**Are you ready?"**_

"_**What? NO! I'm not ready Angel…I don't even know what I need to be ready for!"**_

"_**The war Buffy."**_

"_**What war…what are those things?"**_

"_**Can you face it alone?"**_

"_**Damn it Angel…what am I facing?"**_

"_**Do you need help?"**_

"_**I... wha…Angel! Angel…help me understand! Angel!"**_

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_I wake up screaming Angel's name. My throat raw, my body sweaty. I still don't understand what is going on. There is a war but who's waging it…and what were those things?__ I have so many questions but no one to answer them for me…and what did he mean do I need help? As I look at the time, I decide to do another quick sweep of the cemeteries before the sun decides to rise, and I have to figure out what is coming_.

_I've been wandering Sunnydale for the last half hour and have not come across one vampire. It's almost as if, they've just disappeared…or fled. This can't be good, it's too quiet._

"Slayer."

_How did I not sense him?_ "Yes, and you would be?"

"It does not matter who we are."

"We_?" I swallow hard. 4 creature-things surround me. They remind me of the 'Three' Angel and I fought that one time but worse. Covered in full leather with burnt amber striping and metal casting, their dark eyes search me out as I get ready to fight. They throw the first punch; I block but get kicked from behind. The fight continues for how ever long, I'm not sure…it's a fury of punches and grunts. One goes down, but before I can stake him, two of the other three grab me and throw me against a wall. I can feel the blood drip down my forehead as I push myself up; I block another left hook before throwing an upper cut to my right and a roundhouse kick to my left. The third comes at me from behind, before I have a chance to prepare, I am on the ground, blood now seeping out of the cut across my lip. I slowly work my way back up once more throwing a jab to the one in front and kick towards my back, feeling my foot connect with another's stomach. I see my stake lying on the grass a few feet away, I run towards it but before I can reach it, my neck is grabbed in a vice grip, lifting me off the ground. I claw at my handler as I struggle for breath. One comes forward, crimson eyes glowing dark. _

"You should have ran while you had the chance little girl."

_I move more violently, attempting to break his hold on my throat__, he only loosens slightly._ "Yeah well that's not my forte."

"Do you think you can beat this?"

"Well I thought I was handling myself pretty well." _I choke out as his hand once again loosens a bit more._

"You naïve child, we are not the war… just the messengers."

"The messengers for what?"

"The End, youngling."

"The End?" _I start to panic slightly, is this what Angel was talking about?_

"La Caminata de Muerte."

_He releases my neck and I fall to the ground, gasping for breath. I can feel my bruised body start to crumble as I grip the tombstone so I can push my self back up. I can feel my broken ribs and my dislocated shoulder trying to mend themselves. I lean against the mausoleum next to me as I try to rein in my pain. Before I can do anything else, __one turns around sliding his sword into my body. I choke out a scream as my body sinks to the ground; I attempt to swallow the blood bubbling up my throat. I faintly hear him sheath his weapon before speaking,_

"Like I said…we are the messengers."

_I can feel myself loosing consciousness,__ I can't help but find it ironic that my death is near the same mausoleum that I first learned Angel's name. My last words nothing but a soft whisper, _"Angel." _before everything goes black._

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**POV: Angel/Angelus**

"BUFFY!" _I wake up gasping for breath I don't need, my soul screaming out in agony._ _Buffy._

**What are you still doing here? She's hurt! We have to get to her!**

_I know._

_I race out of my room grabbing my weapons bag on the way._

"Angel?"

**Hurry up soul boy, Buff's hurt!**

"Angel! Where are you going?"

"Cordy I don't have time for this, I have to go."

"Now you wait right there mister, what happened?"

_I can feel a growl rip through chest before I can stop __it; I turn my golden eyes on Wes and Cordelia as I speak around my fangs. _"Buffy." _And with that I leave out the Hyperion's front doors._

**I can feel her…she's not well**.

_I know._

**Faster!**

_I speed down the highway towards Sunnydale, breaking as many traffic laws as there is in my rush to save Buffy. As I pass the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign I can't help but feel myself slip into game face, as Buffy would call it. I need to find her. I park my car at her house and take off on foot, hoping to catch her scent._

_15 minutes and 4 cemeteries later, I finally sense her._

**Buff! She's bleeding!**

_I rush in looking for my blonde love. I find her crumpled on the grass blood seeping out of her wounds. I breath out a sigh of relief as I hear a weak but steady heartbeat…She's going to be fine._

**She better be or I'll rip this world apart to**** find out who did this.**

_You and me both._

_I carefully cradle her in my arms as I walk back the way she came from, her scent leading me back to the mansion. I can't help but wonder why her scent is so strong here. Has she not been staying at home? Or the dorms? _

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_

_Half an hour later and many bandages, I finally tuck my love into bed. I can feel Angelus' growl pulsing inside me as I take in all the wounds riddled across her body._

**What did this to her?**

_I have no clue, but I'll find out and when I do…they'll wish they were dead._

**She's been staying here.**

_I know._

**She misses us…she needs us.**

_I need her._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Buffy**

_Pain. So much pain, my throat burns, my head's pounding. I slowly start to open my eyes, afraid as to where I might be._

"Buffy?"

_Angel? Am I dreaming? Wait, do you feel pain in dreams?_

"Angel?"_ I whisper. I try to sit up but yelp as pain shoots all through my stomach._

"Stay down baby, I don't want you to tear open your wound."

_Wound? What happened? I blink a few times...adjusting to the dim lighting, and see none other than the man of my dreams sitting next to the bed._

"Angel?"

"Yes love?"

_I try to speak a few times, but nothing comes out, and as I look into his dark eyes full of worry I do the only thing I can…I burst into tears. I feel his arms gathering me close to him, mindful of my wounds and it only makes me cry harder. I feel his lips against my forehead as he starts whispering nonsense words of love to me, gently rocking me. I continue to sob into his shoulder, letting everything out. The pain from my last battle, the ignorance of my friends, the loneliness I have felt over the past 2 months, and lastly his abandonment of me. I grip his shoulders tightly as he runs his hands up and down my spine with a caring tenderness of one lover to another._

_He starts to speak softly to me again as my tears start to lessen._

"Sshh Buffy, you have to be careful with your wound."

"Angel?" _I whisper._

"Yes love?"

"Is this a dream? Please tell me you're really here." _I beg brokenly …I know how desperate I sound but I have to know if he's here right now or if this is all just a dream._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

"Is this a dream? Please tell me you're really here."

_I look down into her hazel eyes and my heart breaks and the sadness I see dwelling beneath them. _

"I'm really here love."

_I can't help but gently stroke her cheek, running my thumbs to wipe the few tears that have slipped out._

**She looks so…broken.**

_I know. S__he got hurt really bad._

**No! I mean she looks broken and alone.**

_I swallow hard…I know._

**Then do something! Fix it! This is not my Buff, she's not weak.**

"Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"What happened tonight_?" As I listen to her account of what happened I can't help but get angrier and angrier at the fact that she was alone. Where were her friends? Her Watcher? They were supposed to protect her, keep her safe._

**Yeah they did such a good job at that…Good job leaving her with them.**

_Shut up._

_She continued on with her story as I started to take her in. I started noticing smaller details that most people would miss like the dark circles under her eyes, her clothes that used to fit tightly around her soft curves hanging loosely, or how she seems to hunch over almost as if to protect herself._

"…they all had these dark almost greyish eyes except for the one, his were a deep red and their clothes were really weird too, but anyways we fought for a long time trading punches and kicks. I was holding my own pretty well for a while,"

**Of course you were Buff, you're my slayer.**

"until I got grabbed from behind… his hand wrapped around my neck and he had these nasty claws and they started talking about the End, and I didn't understand but got really freaked out because I've been having these dreams and…"

"Wait, dreams?"

"Uhm yeah, I talked to Giles but since I wasn't sure if they were prophetic or not he said he couldn't really do much. But they said they were the messengers for the La uhm La Caminata de Muerte and that I should have ran away when I had the chance. Then he stabbed me, and said 'See, we are the messengers' or something. What bothers me though is I didn't even know they had weapons on them, they weren't fighting with them Angel, it was all hand to hand."

"Why don't you get some rest and I'll do some research on this, okay?"

"Uhm, o..okay."

_I watched her __eyes slowly flutter shut before going out in to the main room to make some phone calls._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Buffy**

_I woke up a few hours later, still sore but not as bad. My wounds were healing up slowly. I was walking down towards the main room when I heard other voices._

"Angel, what happened?"

"What are we doing back in Sunnyhell?"

_I knew that voice…Cordelia_.

"Guys please. Buffy was injured last night, and I think we need to help."

"Did she ask for it?"

"What?"

"Did she ask for help?"  
"Well not exactly…no."

"So what makes you thinks she needs it?"

"Cordy, she was stabbed last night and left alone in a cemetery do die."

"Oh dear lord."

_Wesley came too?_

"She said they said something about the End, we need to help."

"I agree completely Angel, I'll start wi…"

"Uhm."

_Everyone turned their heads towards me __immediately; I started shuffling my feet as I looked at everyone in the room. Angel, Cordelia, and Wesley were here but so was another face didn't recognize at all._

"Buffy, what are you doing up already?"

"Thirsty." _I lied._

"Well it's good to see you again Buffy, even if the circumstances are less desirable."

"You too Wesley. Hi Cordy."

"How are you Buffy?"

"Been better, you?"

"Good."

_An awkward silence passed over the group before the guy I didn't recognize cleared his voice and came walking over to me._

"Hey Buffy, name's Gunn. Nice to meet you"

_I shook his outstretched hand and returned the greeting_.

_Angel was watching me __closely; I assumed trying to figure out if I was really okay or not. I gave him a slight smile and he came walking over to me._

"Buffy, can we talk for a moment?"

_I nodded. Angel exchanged a quick glance with everyone else then Wesley spoke up immediately._

"Right, well I'll start on the research."

"Cordelia?"

"Yes Wes?...Oh, right I'm going to go get some food for this place coming Gunn?"

"Ah,"_ he looked between everyone in the room before shrugging his shoulders and following Cody out._

"Buffy?"

_Right, follow Angel._

_

* * *

_

_We walked into the kitchen and just looked around, neither of us really wanting to start a conversation. Angel ended up giving in first._

"I hope this is okay Buffy… I mean bringing the team down to help research and figure out what it is exactly we are going up against."

"We?"

"Uhm, yes?"

"Look Angel, I can take care of this thing myself, I don't need any help but if your 'team' wants to stay here and waste their valuable time then go ahead."

"Buf…"

"I need to take a shower Angel; I'll be back down to help research in a bit." _ I know I was rude to him but he's been gone for months and then just walks right back in…I just I need to be careful. _

_

* * *

_**Please feel free to hit the button below and let me know what you think so far (please no hateful comments) ...I know its slow and kinda dull right now but I promise it will get better! :D**_  
_


	5. A Lovers' Quarrel Revealed

**AU Note: **** Hey guys. This chapter is a bit longer…there is some language but nothing more than that really. Its starting to develop slowly :P but I promise more details etc. are coming.**

**

* * *

**

**Day of Reckoning: a Sweet Surrender**

**Chapter 5: ****A Lovers' Quarrel Revealed**

**POV: Buffy**

_I ended up taking an hour upstairs to shower and calm my nerves over being around Angel again. Last night was easy, I was in pain, and well reality of the situation didn't set in until I decided to come down the stairs earlier. Seeing his whole team there just reminded me that he has a life in LA now…a life that I'm not a part of, and when this is all over, he will be going back to that life and leaving me behind once again._

_Walking into the main room gave me an intense blast from the past, almost. I remember the days when I would walk into the library to see Willow and Giles researching while Xander and Cordelia fought, as I waited for Angel, and then I look up at the group here and now and it's almost like a slap in the face. There is no Willow, Xander, or Giles and Angel isn't mine._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_I could feel Buffy coming down the stairs after her shower. I was a little hurt at what she had said earlier, but I guess I sort of understand where she is coming from._

**Duh genius, you left her… how did you expect her to react?**

_I look over my shoulder when I notice she has stopped dead at the doorway, a faraway look in her eyes._

**What is she doing?**

_How should I __know? I watched her closely as she took in the group sitting in the living room, then with a slight sigh and a drop of her shoulders she walked over to the table and grabbed a book. I took my time examining the group, attempting to figure out what caused the dejected look in her eyes and I noticed that none of her friends were here. Xander, Willow or even Giles had no idea what had happened to her last night and none of them had called to see if she was okay._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Buffy**

"So Buffy, how's life?"

_Well that's a loaded question Cordy._ "Not too bad, just been busy slaying and with school. What about you?"

"Just work and well dating…you know the kind of stuff that most girls go through right now."

_I attempted to hide my reaction to what she said_. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Buffy could we talk in private?"

_I guess I didn't hide it that well._ "Sure Cordy."

* * *

_We ended up in one of the spare bedrooms…I'm assuming the one Cordelia had claimed as her own, what with all the clothes strewn about the place._

"Come sit."

_I sank down into the bed, and waited for her to tell me what she wanted to talk about._

"So Buffy, where's the group?"

_Okay, so not what I was expecting._

"Uhm, Willow is at uh…"

"Don't lie to me either."

_I didn't know what to say…she just figured me out within seconds. I started to tell her my next lie when I saw the look in here eyes; it wasn't one of pity just understanding. At the moment I realized that Cordy was offering to be my shoulder._

"Honestly Cordy? I have no clue."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't really hung out with Willow since last weekend and that was for a double date that I didn't even want to go on; and Xander, I haven't heard from him in about a month…he's been so busy with Anya and his job that it's like he just forgot about me."

_I could feel the tears slide down my cheeks and she handed me a tissue._

"What about Giles?"

"Well he used to ask me to check in with him every day…now I'm lucky if I talk to him once a week. Everything just got so screwed up over the past few months and I don't know what to do anymore."

"Explain everything."

"I mean that nothing is the same. Its like everyone has just forgotten about me, I have no one to talk to, I'm doing everything on my own and its hard and just ever since... uhm ever since…"

"Since Angel left?"

_She looked at me with a knowing look. I looked down at my lap as I felt myself nod__, the tears rushing out of my eyes._

"He left me Cordy to have a better life, and now I'm all alone. Everyone just left me. They all expected me to be over him by now and I just I can't tell them that I'm not because they don't get it…and then they push me to get over him and it hurts because they don't know that I can never get over him. He's everything to me and whether he loves me or not anymore I still need him. Angel made me feel loved and special…normal. To him, I wasn't the girl who fights bad guys, I wasn't the rebelling daughter, I was just Buffy. He let me be myself and he loved me for that. He was my rock. With him, I knew there was someone who worried about me because he worried about me, not if I don't survive who will fight, or who will protect him …he just wanted me safe. I would do anything for him, he made life worth living. Without him, I don't know how to breathe. Everything just hurts all the time. Last night when I got stabbed, I thought I was going to die and I was happy, because I realized I don't want to live a life without him…I can't. I would give up everything to be with him, just to be near him and he never understood that. He always thought he wasn't enough for me, and that in the future I'm going to want all this normal stuff like sunshine but I don't. He doesn't understand that being the slayer involves the dark. I live in the dark, my life consists of nightmares and he brought light into it. Before I met him I hated that I had this future that turned people away from me, I hated who I was. He gave me confidence, love, and happiness and then he took it all away from me. I can't breathe Cordy, I feel like I'm dying a little more each day…I couldn't even go to the movies with out crying because that was our last date."

_By now I was a b__lubbering mess, it hurt so much._

"Oh Buffy."

"I…I have to learn though…he's not coming back, he made a life for himself that I'm not apart of, and I have to accept that. I may need him but I can learn to live with it."

"Learn to live with it, or exist with it?"

_She shot me a knowing look. I swallowed har before answering._

"Does it really matter? I'll exist…I've been doing it for the last few months, and no I won't learn to live with it because a life with out him isn't worth living; but my feelings don't matter, what matters is those people out there who have love and have families and friends and for as long as I can go…I'll make sure they get to keep what they have, but me? No, I don't matter."

_Cordy sat with me for a little while longer, before saying she was going to go help research some more. I know I should be helping but I just I can't face him or his new life right now…it just hurts._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_When Cordy took Buffy upstairs, I was hoping maybe she could find out what has been going on. I could __feel Buffy's soul in pain and mine screamed out for her…to comfort her, but I knew I wasn't the one who she needed right now._

_I immediately looked to the doorway when I heard Cordelia come down the stairs. She looked sad and angry at the same time, but I was more concerned about my mate …_

"Angel?"

"Yeah Cordy?"

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Uhm sure."

"You are an idiot!" _She whispered harshly._

_Excuse me?_ "Cordy?"

"How could you leave that poor girl?"

"Cordy, you know this already."

"Yeah I know this already, but how could you?"

"I don't follow."

"Did you ever ask her what she wanted?"

**No.**

_Shut up_. "Cordy, I had t…"

"You didn't?" _She screeched._

"Please keep your voice down."

"I'm sorry Angel but what you did, whether you think it was the right thing or not, you had no right to make that decision with out her. She is not a child Angel, she risks her life every night and puts herself last to everyone…I think she can decide what she needs."

"I know."

"You need to fix it."

"But the cur…"

"Don't use that line on me Angel! Leave me and Wesley to figure that out."

"Cordy…where do I start?"

"You start by helping her talk to Giles."

**What about English?**

"Giles?"

"Angel, everyone left her…she has no one and as much as she needs you, Giles is like her Dad. She has to talk to him."

**You idiot!**

**

* * *

**

**POV: Buffy**

_After an extra while upstairs I felt a little better. Talking to Cordy definitely helped, it was nice to have someone to talk to, even if __they weren't really close. I'm terrified to go back down and face Angel, it hurt when he was gone but now, seeing him face to face again, it just, well, it hurts worse; but I have to suck it up…just take a deep breath Buffy and pack away all those issues until your alone._

_I don't know what I was expecting when I came into the room but what I saw was definitely not it._

"Giles?"

"Buffy, dear."

_What is he doing here?_ "Uhm, what are you doing here Giles?"

"Well I got a phone call from Angel saying something rather big was happening and that my expertise could be needed."

_I can't help but look over at Angel with a part worried part confused look. He just smiled softly and nodded his head towards Giles._

"Okay, well all we know so far is tha…"

"Buffy? I do apologize for interrupting but may we talk in private for a moment?"

_What is with everyone wanting to talk privately?_ "Uhm…sure."

* * *

_I followed Giles into the kitchen and proceeded to take a seat on one of the three stools.__ He sat down as well and started to clean his glasses…he was nervous._

"I received a rather interesting phone call earlier and I'm sure without it, I would never say this but I…I wanted to apologize Buffy for everything I've done wrong by you…"

"What? Giles you haven…"

"Yes Buffy, I have and it pains me greatly to realize how much I have failed you. You are my Slayer, which indeed comes with a great deal of responsibility**, **but first and foremost, you are my daughter, blood related or not; and I must admit that I have failed you. As my Slayer, I should have had more respect for your choices and as a father I should have had more faith in you decisions. I never did like the idea of Angel…"

"Giles…"

"Please Buffy, let me finish. As I was saying, I never did like the idea of Angel but I did have faith that you would make the right choice, but when Angelus was released, I needed to place blame on someone for what had happened and, even though I never intentionally held you responsible, I did Angel, and with that it was like I was blaming you…I see that now. I never wanted to hurt you, but by trying to protect you I caused you more pain than I ever thought possible. I let my hatred for a demon cloud my vision of the love you two hold for each other."

"Held Giles, held."

"No Buffy just from my earlier phone call and the few short minutes spent in the other room with the two of you, I can see how much you both care for each other. A love like that doesn't just go away. After Angelus' release, it was next to impossible for me to tell the difference between the demon and the soul. So I punished Angel and you instead of coming to terms with what Angelus had did and seeing Angel as the victim he was, and I looked down on you because you still loved him and brought him back into my life…but what I didn't realize was that you could always tell; that your love for the soul outshined the hatred for the demon and that Angel was never the bad guy."

_I couldn't help but tear up with what he was saying. He finally understood._

"I have seen you the past few months Buffy, since Angel left…and rather than admit to myself that you were hurting, I hid, I didn't want to accept but…you need him Buffy just as much as he needs you and I want to apologize for not having confidence in your Slayer instincts towards the vampire, and not having faith in your love for the man. I hope you can forgive me Buffy, and I do promise to stand behind you what ever your future decisions may be because I...I do love you child."

_I did the only thing I could; I hugged him and whispered my forgiveness._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_I watched their backs retreat in the kitchen. I could sense Buffy's dread when she saw Giles standing there waiting for her but I had to have faith that this would help her. I waited anxiously for their return, praying that everything would work out okay between them, because as much as I may not like how Buffy has been treated lately, she looks up to Giles__…he's her father. I sensed her before I could see her, she was sad but she looked as if a huge weight has been lifted of her shoulders. She looked up at me then, smiling softly and mouthing a tiny 'thank you'. My heart felt as if it would burst at that small gesture. That was the first real sign that my Buffy was still in there somewhere._

**Of course she is! **

_You know what I mean._

**She just …She is, she has to be there somewhere.**

_She is._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Buffy**

_It's weird. I haven't felt this content and happy for so long, and all that happened was I talked to Giles…I guess that explains it though. He finally understood that Angel, he's not the demon. Angelus may have been wearing his face but my Angel was not apart of that; he was just as much a victim as we all were. I know it's going to hurt more when he leaves but I can't help but stand a little closer to him, or smile at him every so often. He just makes me feel light and free…just safe. It is almost like he never left well except with the no kissing or touching part. _

_We continued to research well into the night, with only breaks to eat and what not. Everyone was working so hard…even Cordelia. I could feel the weariness of the group start to settle in when we had been reading for over 7 hours and still had nothing. The group slowly got smaller and smaller as they all started to go to bed, until there were only two people left. Angel and me. I could feel his eyes on me every so often and tried to ignore it but I could feel my body start to react. I broke out into small shivers as he eventually whispered my name._

"Buffy?"

_I swallowed hard and raised my eyes to his and was shocked at the pain I saw in them._

"Angel?"

"I uhm, I just…"

"What is it?" _I couldn't help but be a little scared and concerned at the same time, Angel was never at a loss for words._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_I took a deep unneeded breath and looked down at my hands as I whispered my apology._

"What?"

_I looked up at her confused eyes as I stated it once more time, much more clearly._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Buffy**

"I'm sorry."

_I looked at him closely as I felt a slight surge of anger along with a huge wave of sadness._

"You're… sorry?"

_He nodded then looked back up at me._

"Can I explain?"

_I wasn't sure what my answer was until after he started talking again._

"Buffy, I need you to know that I never wanted to leave you."

_I was about to reply when he held up his hand, and continued talking._

"Please, at the time I did leave for very valid reasons. I felt I had to make the choice for both of us because I wasn't sure you could be rational about it."

"Rational?"

"No, I mean…Buffy I have lived a long time but I have never had to consider other people before. After I came back from hell, everything was so confusing. I knew I loved you more than life itself but we weren't the same. I know I did a lot of damage befo…"

"No Angel, Angelus did. You weren't a part of that."

"Ok. I know Angelus did a lot of damage before but that wasn't what was causing our distance. I just wanted to be close to you but I had to be strong for both of us. I knew if things went too far we wouldn't be able to stop and I couldn't bring that pain to you ever again. It was hard Buffy, being around you and not being able to touch you, kiss you, and hold you like I wanted to but we were dealing. Then after what the mayor had said, I started to think. I know he was a demon who was trying to break us but he had valid points. You are going to grow older Buffy and I never will, I can't go into the sunlight with you and I can't give you children…I can't give you the life you truly deserve."

"Angel, I already know all this…remember our oh so wonderful sewer talk right before prom?"_ I couldn't take hearing his excuses again, I felt like my heart was breaking all over again._

"No Buffy, you have to hear this. I wasn't sure what was going to happen after what the Mayor said because I didn't want to be a burden…but when your mom came to talk to me one day…"

"My MOM?"

"Buffy, sshh."

_I know I was being loud but my mom went and talked to my boyfriend without telling me._

"Yes Buffy, your mom came to talk to me, and she made it pretty clear what she thought of us together and what she thought of me. She also raised some valid points, like that you're young and have a whole life ahead of you and to be tied to something that can only live in the dark just, well, wasn't fair to you and that I might have to be the one to make the decision for what was best."

"Angel I'm the slayer, I don't have my whole life ahead of me…Wait…you listened to my mom over me?" _I felt so betrayed…everyone who was supposed to be supportive and be there for me all abandoned me and went behind my back._

"Buffy, I did listen to what your mom had to say but not the way you think. What she said was right and true but I didn't leave because of her."

"Then why did you leave…"

* * *

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

"Then why did you leave? Was I not good enough…did you not want to be with me anymore?"

_I looked into her soft hazel eyes that were heavy with sadness. I caused this and it hurt more than Hell. I broke this girl, this strong, intelligent, beautiful woman because of my insecurities. _

"No baby…no you were perfect and I wanted to be with you so much."

"Then why?"

_She sounded so lost and lonely. I wrapped my arms aro__und her as I kissed her head, praying that she didn't hate me._

"Because love, I…I…"

_She raised her hand to my cheek and looked and me with understanding and trust; her eyes glassy with unshed tears._

"You can tell me…please Angel, I need to know."

"I left because I…I couldn't stand if you resented me later. My heart couldn't take the pain of you hating me just because I loved you." _I whispered brokenly._

_I could feel her tears start to spill over as she tried to hold back sobs. My arms tightened around her middle when I felt her start to pull away._

"Angel…let me go."

_I shook my head. She pulled harder._

"Please Angel, let go of me."

* * *

**POV: Buffy**

_I felt his arms slowly slip from around my waist as I stood up…I just couldn't be that close to him when I knew why he left. I felt like I was going to be sick. _

"Buffy…"

"No Angel…just please stop." _ I took a few deep breaths as I paced back and fourth in front of the table, trying to understand._

"Are you telling me you left because you thought that I might leave you… later?"

"Yes."

"Are you serious? Did you not have faith that I would continue to love you? Did you not believe me when I said I love you…or how about when I told you that you are all I see now and in the future? Did you ever believe me?"

"Buffy…"

"No! You broke my heart because of something that might or might not happen 30 years from now…if we are lucky? Angel do you not realize how much you meant to me – hell even still do? God, you're my life, I need you so much it hurts. When you aren't here its hard to breathe. My life is nothing without you Angel. You leaving nearly killed me."

"Buffy, you don't understand…"

"No, you don't understand, is it so hard for you to believe that someone might actually want you, care for you - need you?"

"Yes! Okay? Yes it is hard to believe that someone like you, that's so pure and perfect, could need me."

"Damn it Angel! You have to stop putting me on a goddamn pedestal all the time! I am not perfect! I have flaws, I make mistakes, you are not the only one who has a bad past Angel, sure yours isn't great and is much longer than anyone else's but when are you going to realize that I fell in love with your soul; a selfless man…yes Angel a man not monster; who puts everyone else first, a man who wants to be someone, a man who wants to take the burden from everyone else just to spare them even a fraction of pain…a man who fell in love with me – not the slayer but Buffy. A Girl who sucks at school work, loves dancing, and has a weird nose. Angel you make life good, bearable. My life is in the shadows, and even with all the freaky things that go on, you make me feel normal…like a girl who can do anything. The reason I fight Angel, is because of you. You give me something to look forward to in a world full of pain and despair. When are you going to understand that I'm the one not worthy of your love Angel… not the other way around."

* * *

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_I was speechless._

"Beloved, why would you not be worthy?"

* * *

**POV: Buffy**

"Because Angel, you're strong, you want to take care of everyone; you want to protect them from everything they don't even know exist. No one gave you that job, you took it upon yourself so they could live a life that you were denied, and you did that with all the guilt of another on your shoulders."

"Because of you."

_He whispered it so quietly that if I wasn't standing right near him I wouldn't have caught it._

"What?"

"Because of you Buffy – I did all of this to make you proud, to make me worthy of you. If it wasn't for you I'd probably be wasting away in an alley still."

"I don't believe that. I think you would have done all this with or without me."

"You have too much faith in me."

"No Angel, not faith, trust. I know what type of person you are, you are a good man."

"Buffy."

_I'm not sure how it happened, but the next thing I knew our lips were meeting in a gentle caress. His cool lips brushed against mine before gently sliding his tongue __along the seam. I instantly moaned, opening my mouth to his questing tongue. He roamed my mouth a few times before slowly pulling back, nipping my lower lip along the way._

"I'm so sorry Buffy. I ran because I was scared and weak, because I couldn't take you resenting me."

"Shh Angel."

"But it was wrong. I should have talked with you, told you about your Mom…"

"Angel, please stop saying sorry."

"I will make it up to you Buffy."

* * *

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_Just as we were moving in to continue our kiss, the rest of the group came downstairs._

"God, I can't wait to get back to L.A and sleep in my own bed…"

_As soon as Cordelia started to speak__, I felt Buffy tense beside me._

"Buffy?"

"Huh? Oh , uhm you know I think I should go do a few sweeps, make sure everything is uhm of the norm."

_I noticed Giles' look of concern as he turned to Buffy._

"You sure you're okay to go out already Buffy?"

"I'm fine guys, Slayer healing and all…I'll be back."

**Oohh, lets go with soul-boy, maybe get in a few gropes while we're**** there…I mean come on, Buff and us all alone in a graveyard…it could lead to many great and wonderful things.**

"I can com…"

"No!"

_What?_

**What? **

"Uhm…I mean its fine Angel, stay, we need all the dirt on what's going down, like I said, I'll be fine."

_What just happened?_

**What do you think just happened?**

_I don't know! We were kissing one minute and then…_

**Queen C is what happened!**

_What?_

**My God – She mentioned L.A. you stupid ****ass pansy! You just promised her you'd make that major fuck-up, up to her and then she's reminded that you're here for work!**

_Oh god._

**More like 'stupid bitch'... hurting my mate like that.**

_I could feel Angelus' growl bubbling up in my chest towards Cordelia's __blind insensitivity._

"Angel? Is everything okay?"

"No Wes, its not – I finally talked to Buffy and told, no promised I would fix things and then she was just reminded I'm only here to help fight."

"Oh."

"Oh my."

"What and who reminded her of that?"

**Can she be any more stupid…I mean she's not even blonde.**

"You did Cordelia."

"What? Giles, I …oh god, I am so sorry Angel."

"Its fine but I have to go after her."

"No Angel."

**What?**

"What? But Wes…"

"No, Wesley is right Angel. She needs to be by herself to figure out her feelings. If you go now, it will only cause more difficulties for the both of you."

**They better be right or there will be two dead Englishmen tomorrow morning.**

_For once we both agree._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Buffy**

_God, I am so incredibly stupid! What did I think was going to happen…we__ were going to talk, he'd proclaim his never ending love, we'd kiss then he would stay with me forever? Oh god…I kissed him! What was I thinking? I knew I should've kept my distance; instead it's just going to hurt more when he leaves…back to his new life, in L.A., the life that I'm not apart of. God it hurts just thinking that. I walked around for hours, my mind running rampant. As much as I hate it, I'm going to have to keep a safe amount of space between us…_


	6. You You Huh?

**Au Note:****Okay so here is chapter six! Yay! :D I don't have too much to say before you get to reading this so it will only take a second. The POV's alternate a lot through out this chapter so I hope its okay and there is some somewhat adult material in this chapter so if you are not comfortable with it or are underage please feel free to skip over. Okay on with Angel and Buffy! **

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* * *

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**Day of Reckoning: a Sweet Surrender**

**Chapter 6:**** You…You…Huh?**

**POV****: Buffy**

_It was nearing dawn by the time I decided to give up and head back towards the mansion. You would think after 3 hours of wandering around, I would have come to a better conclusion other than I just have to keep my distance, but nope. I can barely think about not showing up in L.A. every other night let alone not holding him to me for dear__ life when he's literally only three feet away. I slowly make my way into the mansion, seeing books surrounding everyone._

"Ah Buffy, how…how did the slaying go?" _Giles questioned._

"It was …slayerific."

"Well, good."

"How's the research coming along?"

"Well since you've left we have found out about a ton of nothing."

_Ah the wonderful __comedic yet blunt styling's of Cordelia Chase everyone._

""Ah yes Cordelia, thank you for that. It seems we are not getting very far, but please pull up a chair."

_Oki doki Giles.__ Taking a seat next to Cordelia, I grab an ancient looking book before attempting to gaze around stealthily. _

"Angel is upstairs." _She whispered._

"Oh, I uhm I hadn't even noticed he wasn't here."

_She just shot me a 'don't-bother-trying-to-pull-that-on-me' look before replying._

"Please Buffy, I may not be all super genius like the book worms over there, but I can see that look in your eyes. It's the same look Angel had for the past few hours since you left."

_I swallowed rough__ly before asking what she meant._

"Ha, he was pacing around here, mumbling, looking towards the door every few minutes before we all finally sent him upstairs so we could concentrate."

_I felt a tug at my heart, was he really waiting for me? I couldn't help but let my lips twitch up at the thought of him pacing, wondering where I was. Before I could analyse an__y further the aforementioned vampire came waltzing in. Our eyes met, almost like a magnet was controlling us. I could see the worry in his eyes, and I smiled softly before turning back towards my book. I felt his eyes on me as he walked over, taking a seat directly to my left. I tensed before shivering as his arm brushed against mine when he reached for a book of his own._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_I know it was wrong of me, but I couldn't help but continue to touch her accidently every chance I got after her reaction when I grabbed my book._

**Accidently…right.**

_Shut up._

**Don't worry about me soul-boy…I enjoyed it too. Her skin is so soft, I can't wait to feel other parts of our Slayer, see if she's still just as s****mooth everywhere else.**

_I felt my stomach clench and my cock rise at the thought.__ I buried my nose into the musty reading material as I rubbed my cotton clad leg against hers; feeling rather than seeing the tremble rip through her delicate frame._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Buffy**

_Is he trying to kill me? I glance__d at him out of the corner of my eye as I felt his thigh rub against mine again. He looks so engrossed in what he's reading; I can't help but think that it was just another accident…that is until he leaned over the table, reaching for a different book I assumed, though I couldn't really focus as his breath hit my cheek before he leaned back, it following a trail passed my ear and down my neck. I could feel the change in my breathing, it getting heavy as I looked towards him. He gave me a small smile before going back to his research._

_

* * *

_

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

**Did you see that soul-boy? She wants it…us.**

_I did, I could hear her heart pick up as I leaned in close and I could see her chest rise and fall as she looked towards me, questioning. It made my cock ache… knowing that I was causing her to react that way. I followed her every __movement from the corner of my eye, watching as she breathed in deeply before shaking her head and going back to her book. My hand moved as if it had a mind of its own, towards her knee. I felt her tense; squeezing gently I rubbed soft circles into her skin. She bit her lip as my hand slid along her soft, tanned flesh. I could hear her breathing grow heavy once again as my fingers drifted to the inside of her thigh, skimming the silk encasing her toned upper leg. They parted immediately, the heat radiating from her core shooting up through my hand before making its way straight to my groin. I could feel Angelus' purr of pleasure run through my body at the feeling of her skin. _

**Touch her, let me feel that heat.**

_As if__ Angelus was suddenly able to control my movements, my finger ran up her silk covered slit. I nearly groaned out loud at how wet she was._

**Fuck!**

**

* * *

**

**POV: Buffy**

_I let out a rather high pitched squeal when I felt his finger suddenly touch me…there. Everyone's eyes focused on me as I jumped out of my seat._

"Is everything okay Buffy?" _Wesley asked in a concerned tone._

"Uhm…yes just uhm…"_ I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks, before Angel's voice brought me back._

"Are you sure you're alright Buffy?"

_My eyes shot towards his, before narrowing them._

"Can I speak with you for a minute Angel…alone?"

_He smirked before nodding his head_.

* * *

"Sit." _I told him, once we reached the kitchen._

"What were you trying to pull?"

"What do you mean Buffy?" _Innocence coating his question._

"What do you mean 'what do I mean'? You know what you were doing out there!" _I hissed quietly._

"Buffy…"

"No! You can't do that to me Angel!" _I whisper yelled._ "Do you enjoy working me up and then not being able to follow through? Is this some new sick torment for you to lay on me, 'Oohh lets get Buffy all worked up and wanting then leave her high and dry?'"

"What…no Buf…"

"Is it just some fresh new way so it makes it harder for me when you leave again? 'Gotta make sure she won't forget me' kind of thing?"

"Buffy no!"

_He jumped up gracefully from his chair before pacing in front me. He ran his hands through his hair before looking at me._

"It's not like that at all."

"Then what Angel because I don't understand!"

"Buffy please…sshh…just listen okay?"

_I nodded my head, but not before crossing my arms over my chest and giving him the stink-eye. He swallowed nervously before speaking._

"I want you."

_He mumbled it so quietly that I thought I misheard him._

"Excuse me?"

"I want you."

_I felt the anger rise in me, before even realizing __it; I blew up like a bomb whose timer just reached zero._

"How dare you! How dare you come here, saying that you want me! Is it about convenience for you huh Angel? Is that it? You want to get laid so you come here preying on the girl who you know will take you with out any questions? Hmm?"

"What? Buffy how could you even say that?"

_I could hear the pain in his voice and felt __sorry for a second before deciding to stand my ground. It wasn't fair to me, to have him make me hurt like this._

"How could I say that? How could I say that really? I don't know Angel, you tell me because I think I have every damn right to say it! You come here after leaving me, after destroying me saying you want to help fight, then you go and tell me you're sorry for leaving me and destroying me but you don't say anything about staying with me, and then you start doing…that, fucking knowing that you can't follow through and you have the nerve to say that what I said wasn't fair!"

* * *

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

**Mmm I like feisty Slayer…come here baby…come to Daddy.**

"Well Angel?"

"Damn it Buffy my soul is permanent!"

_I saw the shock on her face as soon as the words slipped from my mouth._

"Wh…what?"

* * *

**POV: Buffy**

"My soul...it's permanent."

_I couldn't believe it._

"How could you!"

_He looked so confused I almost felt bad for him__ again._

"You're soul is permanent and you didn't tell me! When, how long? Did it happen in L.A or since graduation? Did you know all along and just didn't feel the need to tell me…huh!"

"No!"

_I was about to tell him right where he could go when a thought hit me like a ton of bricks._

"How….how did you find out it was permanent Angel?"

* * *

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_I saw where her thoughts were running to before she asked me that last question. Her voice was as cold __as ice and for the first time in almost four years I was actually worried she would stake me._

**Jealous are we lover?**

_Now is not the time!_

"Buffy, I know what you're thinking and no. I haven't slept with anyone but you."

**Speak for yourself…****ahh Dru.**

_Shut up!__ And really Dru? Buffy was so much better and you know it._

"Honest Buffy, I haven't been with anyone since you, and I just found out about my soul…well actually, it's…its complicated Buffy."

"Un-complicate then Angel."

_Her __voice still held that icy tone to it and I wasn't sure what to say._

"Maybe we should talk about this with Giles and Wes."

* * *

**POV: Buffy**

_Giles and Wesley?_

"Why?"

_He sighed in frustration before looking at me, a pleading tone in his voice._

"Please Buffy, just…please."

_We walked back into the main room before I gave Angel a pointed look. He cleared his throat before shuffling his feet against the cold floor._

"Wes?"

"Ahh yes Angel?"

"Could you and Giles maybe uhm explain to Buffy what we discussed earlier…please?"

_I could hear __the begging in his question and looked towards the two men._

"What? Oh, yes…yes of course. Please sit down Buffy."

"I'd rather stand."

"Uhm well alright. Now Buffy, I know you may be confused right now but…"

"Angel said his soul is permanent."

"Ahh well yes and no."

"What?"

"Well what I mean is that his soul is going to be permanent."

_I looked from Giles to Wes to Angel before looking back at Wes._

"Explain."

"Well Cordelia came to me last night to speak about binding Angel's soul…I had actually already been researching it for months and not getting too far but Mr. Giles overheard and offered his assistance. We all felt that Angel and you deserved some happiness, so we worked all through the night and were able to create a spell to ground his soul."

"So his soul would…would be permanent?"

"Ahh yes, yes it would be."

_I swallowed hard before looking around at everyone._

"That's great…no more soulless bad guy and all uhm excuse me for a moment."

_I slowly turned away before racing up the stairs and closing a random bedroom door. I slowly walked over towards the mattress, collapsing on it, my eyes fixed on the old ceiling._

* * *

_ I'm not sure how long I laid there, motionless before there was a soft knock on the door, Cordelia's voice ringing through._

"Buffy? Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

_I pushed myself up into a sitting position, the pillow on my lap._

"Are you okay…with the way you left and all I thought maybe you would like to talk?"

_I shrugged._

"Come on, what's wrong? Aren't you happy Angel's soul will be bound…that means happies for you as often as you want."

_I let __out a soft snort before looking up at her._

"I'm ecstatic that Angel's soul will be bound and that he can have all the happies he wants…"

"But?" _She probed._

"But what if…what if I'm not the one he wants the happies with?"

* * *

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

_I stared at the place where Buffy had just been standing for minutes before looking around the room._

"What just happened?"

"I'm…I'm not sure." _Giles replied before taking out a kerchief to clean his glasses._

"I need to go talk to her."

"No Angel."

"But Cordy…"

"Angel, I know you want to talk to her but I think I know what's wrong and she will need a girl for this first."

"What do you mean?"

"Just trust me Angel."

_I watched Cordy walk up the stairs after my love before __inhaling deeply. I couldn't take this, I had to know what was wrong…not from someone else and not later. I followed my lover's scent until I came up to a door that was left ajar._

"But?" _I heard Cordelia question._

"But what if…what if I'm not the one he wants the happies with?"

"You are."

_Both heads snapped to where I was standing__. _

"Cordy could you give us a second…please?"

_She looke__d towards Buffy before standing. She laid a hand on Buffy's shoulder, squeezing gently as she walked out, closing the door softly behind her._

"Buffy?"

"You weren't supposed to hear that." _She whispered brokenly._

_I sighed before making my way over to the bed._

"Maybe not, but I'm glad I did."

_Taking a seat and grabbing her hand gently, I continued to talk._

"You don't really think that do you?"

"What?"

"That you're not the one I want…happies with?"

_I could hear her sniffle before she shrugged._

"Oh Buffy…"

* * *

**POV: Buffy**

_I felt his arms wrap around me before lifting me into his lap, tightly held to his chest._

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. How can you think I don't want to be with you like that?"

"You…you left."

"I know…I wish I didn't love. And just because I did doesn't mean that I ever stopped wanting you."

"But what Angelus said…"

* * *

**POV: Angel/Angelus**

**Aww crap.**

Look what you did you asshole!

"Buffy he didn't mean it."

**Yeah Buff…in fact I'd love to have another go.**

_Shut up jerk off._

**Such big words for a pansy.**

"But…"

"No buts Buffy. He didn't mean it…he said what he said because he was mad and worried, that was not only the best night of my whole life and un-life it was his too."

"Riiigghht." _She scoffed._

"Right. Sweetheart, I've had sex before, I'm not going to lie but what we shared it…it wasn't just sex."

"What…what do you mean?"

"We made love that night Buffy, we shared our souls. You didn't really think I lost my soul because of an...an orgasm did you?"

_I felt her shrug against my chest._

"Buffy no, I lost my soul because that was the night where I felt fully accepted. You took away all my pain and guilt for over a century. You let me into your heart, soul and body and not only that but you gave me something that you can never get back or give to someone else. I didn't lose my soul because I came, I lost my soul because you gave me life…you made my dead heart beat, you warmed my spirit and you healed my soul, love. I had never felt so alive."

"I…I did?"

"Of course Buffy. When Angelus came back, he was terrified…"

**I was not terrified! I'm a soulless demon for ****Christ sakes, I don't get scared!**

"You made him feel something and not just anything, you made him feel love, something neither of us had ever felt. You wrapped your arms around him and gave him your life in his hands and he didn't know what to do with it."

"Is that why he tried to kill me?"

"Buffy, I know you won't believe me but he never wanted to kill you."

"What?"

"Well he wanted to kill you but he never could…just like you couldn't kill him. Why else do you think he tried to suck the world into hell, you wouldn't give him the time of day."

**Please!**** What a load of…of crap!**

"He was used to people being afraid of him or bowing at his feet love, but you did neither, you fought him, and he wanted you yet you still fought him…and you won."

"No…I lost both of you."

"What do you mean love?"

"I…I wanted him too Angel. I love him as much as I love you; I love him because I love you. Both of you, soul and demon; make up who you are and without him you wouldn't be here."

**Buff.**

"I love you mo chroi, and I want you to be the one to give me all the ….happies I could ever have."

_She looked up at me with hope and love._

"So no one else…"

"What are you trying to ask baby?"

"Nothing I just…I want to make sure I am the one and not someone else, you know…Gwyneth Paltrow, or…or Cordelia, someone."

"Cordelia?" _I smirked._

**Honey please, I like having something to grab onto but really? Besides I like blondes.**

"No, not Cordelia…"

* * *

**POV: Buffy**

"I much prefer blondes anyway." _He whispered before licking the shell of my ear. _

_I couldn't help but moan, wrapping my arms tighter around his neck before pressing myself against him. He growled, smashing his lips to mine. I could feel him hard beneath me as I started rocking my hips back and forth. He gripped me tighter, sliding one hand down to my hip, the other up into my hair to pull back my head. His lips moved down my throat, sucking and nipping. I felt my desire swell, soaking my panties as I rocked harder against him, whimpering._

_

* * *

_

**POV:**** Angel/Angelus**

_She tasted so good. I could feel her heat against me through my pants and I grazed my hand over her ass before grabbing it, pushing her against me. She moaned loud, her nails scraping along my scalp before she pulled my head up to meet her lips in a searing kiss. I felt her tongue swipe along the seam of my lips before diving in, exploring. We kissed for minutes or possibly hours before I felt her little hands run down my chest. She slowly pushed them up from the hem of my shirt, dragging her nails along my stomach. I hissed in pleasure, before grabbing her wrists, effectively stopping her._

"Angel." _She whined._

_I couldn't help but drop one, two, three kisses to her swollen lips before replying._

"Baby we have to stop."

"Why?"

"We haven't done the spell yet and if we don't stop now, nothing will be able to stop me from spreading those pretty thighs of yours and getting reacquainted with what I've been dreaming about for over a year." _I whispered._

"Oh god Angel." _She let loud whimper at my words before rocking against my hard on once more._

"Buffy."

"Alright…fine, but we better be doing it soon. I don't know how long I can wait."

_With that and a wink, she walked out the door. I fell back onto the bed groaning._

_She's going to kill me._

**Yea…but what a way to go.**

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**Quick note: Mo chroi means my heart in Gaelic**


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